I Told God “NO!!”

2 months ago in Albania I was sitting with God in my quiet time. My quiet times can look a little different from day to day, but that particular day I was sitting in prayer and simply talking to God. I was in the midst of reading the book “The Art of Listening Prayer,” which was truly transforming my prayer life and allowing my prayers to go from one sided to truly conversational. I was learning to tune into the voice of God and be able to practice and apply those things He was laying on my heart. That morning in particular, He told me something that I didn’t feel like applying. Quite the contrary, I actually felt like pulling a Jonah and running as far away as I possibly could. 

As I sat in silence waiting for His various responses to our conversation, I felt Him say, “Meagan I want to heal you from your allergies.” My heart immediately began beating faster and my eyes shot open as I started shaking my head “no.” “No God, I DON’T want that.” I continued on in prayer that morning, shaken and honestly a little confused, but I felt nothing but love and gentleness from my Heavenly Father, even in the midst of my unwant. As I went throughout my day it began to slowly but surely hit me. “I told God no…” He said He had something for me, but I told Him I could not and WOULD not have that. Who was I to do such a thing?? 

The next morning I sat with Him again in my quiet time and began to pray into why I was so eager to say “no” and so fearfully running from what God had for me. “Meagan, your allergies have become a wall that you are hiding behind. They served you a purpose for the current season of life you have been in, but it is time for full healing.” I didn’t fully grasp what this meant, and as scared as I was to give God my “yes” over His want to heal me, I decided I would continue pressing into prayer on the matter so that my mind and heart may be changed to truly want what God wanted for me. 

Never forget or doubt that God has perfect timing… On The World Race, we do something every week called Journey Markers. These involve videos and questions that connect us with God and allow our leadership team to gain a glimpse into how our spiritual journeys are going. The day after God told me, “your allergies have served you a purpose for the current season you are in, but it’s time for full healing,” one question in my Journey Markers helped to explain exactly what He had been trying to tell me. The question read, “what simple things in life have you received as gifts from God, both good and bad?” I remember reading that and thinking “how in the world could something ‘bad’ be a gift from God?” It wasn’t until a few days later when my team and I were discussing our responses while walking back from gelato that I understood what this question was talking about. 

My allergies. I had always seen them as this negative thing. They kept me from eating so many things that I used to love and enjoy. At least that’s what I thought… God so tenderly showed me that my allergies, a thing I deemed “bad,” had actually been a gift from Him. My allergies helped me heal from my eating disorder. 

Yes, I know God ultimately healed me from my eating disorder, but I believe that He allowed the allergies to help play a part in the healing! When I was diagnosed with my allergies it helped me begin going down the road of recovery, something I hadn’t been able to do because it had always seemed overwhelming to me. Once a whole group of foods was taken away from me, it made recovery so much easier and more approachable. Foods that I once feared and continuously binged on, were no longer at my disposal. I didn’t understand any of this at the time, but when it hit me like a ton of bricks in Albania, I couldn’t believe that I had never seen it before. 

When God does something, He does it fully. He completely healed me from my eating disorder and He wanted to give me complete healing of my allergies. All I had to do, was give Him my “yes.” 

*You know you wanna know what happens next, so make sure to check out my next  blog for the rest of the story! 

–Meagan 

LIFE UPDATES & PRAYER REQUESTS: 

•I am currently in Pitesti, Romania for Month 8 of The World Race! My team and I are paired with another team for the month, Schondraggey Connection, and we have one of our squad leader’s, Kyndal, living and serving with us as well! Prayers for the people of Pitesti, and for the country of Romania as a whole. That hearts would be open and lives would be changed.

•MY PARENTS WILL BE JOINING ME ON THE FIELD IN LESS THAN TWO WEEKS!!! Prayers for safe travels and that their time spent in Romania would be fruitful and impactful. 

•Prayers for my team and I as we prepare for team changes next month and that we continue to cheirsh and make the most of our time left together!