Left Behind

     Well hello there friends, long time no… read???… Well you know what I mean. My squad and I, yes not just my team but rather my entire squad, arrived in Valle de Angeles, Honduras last Tuesday night. This is my first time being able to connect to wifi since our arrival to our second country, so I figured now would be as good a time as any to update you on anything and everything that has been going on. Month two of The World Race is what’s known as “all squad month,” which means that all six teams within our squad, plus our squad leader and squad mentor are all living together and serving together for the duration of our time in Honduras. 35 of us racers, 1 squad leader, 1 squad mentor, 4 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms, and ample and ample amounts of grace. This month we are serving at a home in Valle de Angeles that houses and aids disabled adults. We show them love, spend time with them, and assist in any way that we possibly can. On Friday this looked like having a 2 hour dance party with many of the residents- smiling, laughing, and busting-a-move until our feet felt as if they would fall off. I didn’t stop smiling one single time, and it still brings me such joy to think about how much fun we all had. Now that you have a glimpse into what our time in Honduras has looked like so far, I would like to tell you a little story…

     At launch we received special journals that bear the title “The Journey” on the cover. It is a journal with prompts that are meant to help us capture this once in a lifetime journey so that we can remember the ways that God moved, the things that He brought to life in each of us, and the parts of us that died along the way. One of the prompts, or challenges if you will, within the journal is to attempt to leave something behind every month; a memento that symbolizes something that used to be part of our life that we’re choosing to give up or step away from. I remember when I first read this on the plane ride to Belize I thought, “oh no, I already ditched a lot of my stuff at launch… now they expect me to leave behind 11 more things?!?…” I began to wrack my brain as I tried to remember each and every item that I packed, and internally battled with what I could and couldn’t part with. I decided to put the debate on the back burner as I began my time in Belize.

     Our time came and went and our squad headed off to Caye Caulker, an island off the coast of Belize, for debrief- a time of rest, recuperation, and reflection before heading off to Honduras for month 2. The theme for our debrief was “vulnerability.” It was beautiful and inspiring to watch various members of my squad bring past hurts and hindrances to light and choose to say that those things may have happened, but they will never get to define them or hold them back from the life that God is calling them to. 

     The final night of debrief arrived and we were encouraged to declare freedom(s) on behalf of ourselves and our squad as a whole. One of my squadmates, Brooke, even brought up the idea of naming a stone whatever we were being weighed down by and throwing it into the sea. This would stand as a symbol that we were releasing that weight in Belize and therefore it wouldn’t accompany us any further on The Race. 

     The next morning my squad leader, Brit, and I met for breakfast and coffee and I told her that we had a mission! You see in month 1 I struggled pretty badly with my anxiety… to be honest “pretty badly” is putting it lightly, it was horrible. So… I named my stone “anxiety” and asked Brit if she would accompany me to the end of the dock to once and for all say goodbye to my anxiety. 

     And that was it. I had done it without even realizing it, found my “thing” that used to be part of my life that I was choosing to give up and step away from. I left anxiety and fear back behind me in Belize. They were heavy and debilitating and now they lie in the depths of the Caribbean Sea, never to be seen or heard from again. I feel lighter, I feel free, and I feel excited to see what my Papa has in store for the remainder of my time here in Honduras!

All my love,

     -Meagan