Grace over Guilt

“I’m sorry God we should have done so much more.”

As I sat mulling over this thought in my head I immediately pulled out my journal and words met paper that completely changed my mindset. 

     Taking part in what is known as ATL month (Ask the Lord) my team and I were responsible for coming up with what we would be doing for ministry each and every day while in Vietnam. I remember when we first found out that we would have the opportunity for ATL back in El Salvador, and we all couldn’t have been more excited. My mind immediately made a list of all the “ministry possibilities” that just had to be lying ahead for us in Vietnam. Some of these ideas came to fruition and were absolutely incredible, but majority of them just remain a picture in my head. On our next to last day at our ATL destination my team and I were sitting at a coffee shop. We were making “thank you” cards for various shop owners, market employees, restaurant workers, and other people that we had befriended and built relationships with over our time in the city. We wrote out various phrases such as “thank you for your kindness,” “we appreciate your friendship,” and “may God bless you!” in Vietnamese (thank goodness for Google translate, we were so grateful to have it at our disposal this month). Our plan was to walk around the next day and hand these cards out to the various individuals God had placed on our hearts, and to give them a rose along with it! I was so excited for this opportunity and it left me thinking that we should have done so much more with our time. I ripped opened my journal and scribbled down three simple words, “grace over guilt.” I then decided to change my perspective and asked God to show me what our time in Vietnam had looked like to Him. 

     This month may have looked differently than others have, but this one truly embodied and brought to life the phrase “life is ministry, and ministry is life!” They are one in the same. It never stops, and there is no “off switch.” This month gave a glimpse into what ministry will look like once we are home from The Race. There are opportunities all around us. Look for the unseen. Listen for those who aren’t heard. Speak up on behalf of those with no voice. Befriend the children. Smile, laugh, play, run, jump, give the biggest hugs you’ve ever given in your life. Get up on stage in front of over 400 kids and sing “Let it Go” because it will bring them joy. Be bold. Don’t be afraid to form relationships with people you literally just met because who knows it may lead to praying aloud in a dumpling shop for a kind woman with a beautiful story. Don’t be scared to ask questions because it may lead to making friends from the local university who love Jesus just as much as you do. It may even take you to a church service where a new friend will translate the whole sermon from Vietnamese to English for you. Then after it is over she may look at you with a smile, take her cross bracelet off her wrist, place it on your own and tell you to always look to Jesus when times get tough. Be present for those you meet, but also for those who have journeyed with you these past four months. Uplift and encourage your teammates. Love them, hear them, see them, and show them just how much they truly matter. Learn from them, learn how to love them better, and learn to love yourself. Sometimes you are your own ministry and by simply saying “today I will love myself,” you are saying “yes” to what God has commanded of you.

This is what my time in Vietnam looked like to God and I know He is proud of my team and I! 

     Could we have done more? Sure, but at the end of the day we could say that for most situations in our lives. Instead of taking this stance I choose to see all that we did through my Father’s eyes and extend beautiful grace instead of sitting in guilt. What we did was enough. What we did was impactful. And what we did will stay with me a lifetime.

Thank you God for Your unprecedented grace that covers all of my guilt! 

-Meagan